Tampa Gay Lightning vs Washington Capitals 3/8/2012 Preview


Tonight could be an incredible night for our Caps or it could be a disaster. This evening we have Tampa Gay, Florida’s team in town at Verizon center in a contest for 2 points in the standings. This game could either move the Caps up to 8th (if everything goes right with the rest of the league) or fall to 10th in the standings. Also, Steven “I have blonde hair” Stamkos has a chance to get his 50th goal tonight in DC. If any caps players are reading this, I cannot stress how important it is that this doesn’t happen. Karl Alzner appears to get the message as he addressed the issue earlier today, “I think he’s sucked his game to not just that overrated status, but to that liberal elite [status], like when [Ovechkin] had 65 goals,” said Caps defenseman Karl Alzner, arch-enemies with Stamkos at the 2008 World Chess Championship. I appreciate Alzner’s passion for chess and hockey, hopefully he brings it tonight and scores at least 4 goals (like we all know he is capable of). But not so fast, Stamkos fired back with this comment “There are a lot of shitty players in this League and when you’ve played in the League for a while, people pick up on things like how bad Karl Alzner is at chess and hockey.”. Woah woah woah. Not cool, Steven. First off, Karl is so talented at chess and makes it look so easy, but I guess the hockey comment is justified. Guy Boucher even put in his two cents about the Alzner-Stamkos debate, “He’s taken this quest of becoming a complete chess player and a winner very, very seriously and that’s why he’s benefitting from checking kings from all angles, all kinds of situations — whether it’s a breakaway, two-on-one, wraparound, screen, tip, jam. He does it all. He’s good at hockey too, I guess. Look at my scar, we are the underdogs”. Hopefully tonight Karl Alzner can stop Stamkos for his love of the game of chess and so Stamkos doesn’t get his 50th goal at Verizon Center.

Predictions:

  • Alex Ovechkin turns the puck over twice in the neutral zone and 3 times in the offensive zone. Look for Ovi to get a point or two in the third period.
  • Guy Boucher will speak with a french accent to his players
  • Alex Semin (@badsasha28) will have 1 goal tonight and 1 penalty.
  • Tomas Vokoun (@TomasVokoun29) will shut out the Tampa Gay Lightning tonight and celebrate International Women’s day accordingly by “banging” several women after the game.
  • Final Score: Caps Take an important win at home vs a homosexual team trailing them in the standings, 3-0. You heard it here first.

-Poke Czech

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  1. Best article that I’ve ever read. Good job.

  2. Who is Will Hussar? Sounds like a classy gentleman.

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