Sasha Decides to Leave DC, His Apartment, and Alex Ovechkin

Despite wanting to rise to his criticism, Sasha 28 has decided to move out of his apartment to go somewhere like Colorado.

“I want to be leader. Ovi suck, so I should be in charge.” says winger Alex Semin. On Sunday, for the first time in his career, Semin is set to become a free agent. His agent has repeatedly said that Semin is going to go, not stay, and honestly, we don’t like his attitude.

Luckily, for the Caps, we have already replaced Semin’s offensive production with Mike Ribeiro, who averages in the mid-60s for points in a season. However, what we haven’t replaced is Semin’s extremely strange attitude. We’re looking at you, Neuvirth. Time to step up and be weird.

-Poke Czech

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