Pro Bowl Offers Lots Of Points, Little Entertainment

Commissioner Roger Goodell had said before today’s pro bowl that it could be cancelled in the future if the car robberies did not increase among fans and players. “Look, I know it’s just a glorified all star game, but I want the players and fans to care more. Seriously, I want this game to be remembered for the violence, on and off the field. And by that I mean more car robberies, more stabbings, and just more crime in general. I want more heart.” Because of this bitching from the league’s commissioner, the NFL and it’s media spent all Sunday trying to convince the fans that the players were playing a football game and not just solely drinking alcohol.

”It’s been a very bitching week,” Seattle Seahawks rookie quarterback Russell Wilson said. ”And the thing was, if you watched us, everybody was drunk today and it was really awesome.”

”Guys were doing shots, guys wanted to get wasted and guys want to keep the game here,” Kyle Rudolph (Minnesota Vikings) insisted. ”That was the point before the game. We want to keep this game rolling for future Pro Bowlers.”

”We understood exactly what (Goodell) wanted, guys were getting drunk all over the field,” Victor Cruz (New York Giants) said. ”There was a little bit more high intensity than in years past and we were excited to play. Believe it or not it really did feel like a real game out there. It wasn’t touch football; guys were laying some licks. It had the energy of a real game. My body feels like it just went through a real game.”

One thing I know from experience is that if you have to convince yourself of something over and over again without solid evidence, odds are it isn’t true. The NFL and it’s players are trying to convince fans that today’s game mattered. But in fact it was nothing more than a few of the league’s top pricks showing off in Hawaii after spending the whole week partying their asses off. Today’s pro bowl was no better than any others that we’ve had in the past. In fact, it was much worse. NFC 62, AFC 35. That’s not a close game at all. I’m pretty sure @WillHussar can’t even count that high or figure out the AFC’s deficit, or find the total score of the two. And I’m not going to either because this game was boring and not close enough of a score to care about.

Look, all I’m saying is the NHL owned today in sports (as it usually does when it’s being played).There were really good games in Washington, Ottawa, Montreal, Chicago, Winnipeg, and St. Louis. And these games were real, hard fought, and actually mattered to the sport. Hell, the WWE championship at the Royal Rumble was more entertaining than the Pro Bowl BS.


Guys, do yourselves a favor. Don’t watch the pro bowl anymore unless a good friend or relative of yours is playing in it. And don’t buy into the NFL’s propaganda from today. It was no better than any other Pro Bowl.

-Poke Czech (John Hussar)

    • English Man
    • January 28th, 2013

    I must say I do agree.

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