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Ryan McNeil: No Longer an Elite Goalie?


Famous Ashland and CVRHL goalie, Ryan McNeil, started his goaltending career out with four straight championship seasons. Since then, he has been at the center of two heartbreaking playoff losses which have been unbearable to watch. With his last championship season occurring over 8 months ago, one has to wonder: is this the beginning of the end of Ryan McNeil’s days as an elite goaltender? Here are a few reasons to believe that might just be the case:

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Difficulty Coping With Recent Losses
This photo above, which was sent in by an anonymous reader, shows McNeil sipping alcohol during his most recent playoff loss. Obviously, he has been drinking away his solid save percentage and goals against numbers. Maybe if he put down the beer, and picked up his glove, he could return to his former glory.

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Lack of Dedication to Winning
I think this photo speaks for itself. Ryan’s lackluster production in net recently can almost be entirely attributed to his lack of motivation to winning. Simply sitting in the crease is not good enough.

He can not win without the Hussars
Every single one of Ryan McNeil’s championship rosters has included a member of the Hussar family. He is 1-2 in playoff games where he does not have a Hussar on his team. Simply put, he cannot win without the Hussar family. And where are the Hussars you ask? Jack is set to play for his 5th championship next Tuesday, and Will is seeking to win his 2nd after coming off an impressive rookie season. Hats off to those two.

We here at Poke Czech miss the highlight reel plays and SportsCenter Top Ten saves that we all have come used to seeing from Ryan McNeil. The Shelhorse Cup is to be played next week, and it features Ryan McNeil in it. The only question is: will he show up?

“Why would I? Nobody on my team showed up all season,” said Ryan, holding back tears, after tonights tough loss. This could potentially be the end of Ryan’s career at Ashland, and thus the end of an era. Although, to be fair, the era of McNeil’s success ended a long time ago.

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Ashland Rattlers Best Team In League Heading Into Playoffs


To make a long story short:

  • @WillHussar (block that bum on twitter) was wrong (as he is is 79% of the time) about the @AshlandRattlers.
  • The Rattler’s are 6-3-1, #1 seed, President’s trophy winners gearing up for the playoffs.
  • They will face #4 seeded Yellow Jackets on Wednesday in the Semi-final.
  • Most believe that the Rattlers are CVYRHL Cup favorites.
  • @WillHussar lost an exhibition football game vs #TeamFarhan in the rain 2 months ago and has been afraid to play him ever since. It could be a government conspiracy or maybe @WillHussar is just a bitch.

Ashland Rattlers Start Season 4-0, Lose Next Two Games


After starting the season off hot, the Ashland Rattlers of the CVYRHL have struggled in the last few games. Some may chalk this up to illness, poor play or bad luck, but essentially, the result of these two games is from a lack of effort. The Rattlers have unfortunately become complacent in the last few weeks, and if they hope to contend for the highly sought after CVYRHL Cup this season, they need to get their game together.

Rattlers Goalie Ryan McNeil has voiced his frustrations over the last few days. “The Rattlers should have traded me while I was healthy,” Ryan “Ray” McNeil said. Despite some rumors circulating that McNeil suffered a severe injury in the team’s game last Wednesday, McNeil assured me that he will be ready for the team’s first playoff game in the weeks to come.

Another Rattler’s player suffered a set back this week: F John Hussar is currently suffering from mono and/or strep throat. Despite the potential of rupturing his spleen in last week’s game, J. Hussar played through it.

Indeed, the Ashland Rattlers do have a talented group of guys on this season’s roster. However, with the lack of effort shown over the last few games, are they championship worthy? Only time will answer that question.

Caps Commit Exorcism on Devils, Win 5-1!


It started much like you probably thought it would: a 0-0 game at the first intermission. Then, everything fell silent and then Ovechkin put the puck in the net! 3 times! Wowza!

“Of course I score goal three time,” Ovechkin said after murdering the Satanists, “I am best goal scorer in league. No surprise.”

Notes:

-Holtby – a good game. He only gave up one goal, and he was screened for it, so it wasn’t his fault.

-Ovechkin had his first hat trick in two years, and his first one in DC since February 7, 2010! It was only a matter of time.

-Ribeiro has 20+ points now. Still waiting on the apology from @RussianMachine as well.

-Brouwer and Ovechkin are now tied for the lead in goals on the Caps this season. 8 a piece for each of them.

-Kovalchuk scored, but who cares?

“It was a game,” Oates said post-thrashing, “We played hockey, they played. There were penalties.”

The Caps play against the Carolina Tropical Depressions on Tuesday at 7!

-Poke Czech

Does @WillHussar Belong As CHS Captain?


Many have questioned Courtland High School’s decision to name @WillHussar as their captain of the Floor Hockey Team (@CHSHockeyClub) despite little to no experience in any form of Hockey whatsoever. This is very startling after seeing many other qualified members were turned down for no reasons given.

“I’m just very opposed to this decision. Look at all the previous hockey teams that Will has managed: Last year he never won the Will Cup (named after him) after having 8 chances and only 2 opponents for it, he was also 2-14 for the Wooden Chalice vs one opponent, and his team on NHL 13 (The Casual Body Builders) has been mediocre at best for the past two months. This decision makes no sense, he has a history of losing and leading from behind and now he’s going to do that with our hockey program” -an anonymous high school student at CHS.

“Will Hussar has questionable morals. He would be better suited being captain of the Baltimore Ravens.” @CronkInTheClub

“Will couldn’t lead a trip to Verizon Center and he smells really terrible. Seriously start bathing yourself, fool.”- Anonymous

“I take criticism just like I take positive feedback; I will apply it to my game and try to improve.” @WillHussar (Block Him).

“The people that decided this will regret it until they die. I’d rather have a blind player in a wheelchair leading this team than that jerk”- Anonymous

“Will hussar has not been captain of many things besides the CBB but we will see how he runs this club hopefully everything goes well” @FlyersEatCaps

“He is qualified to lead in a sport that is played in the special Olympics” @PaulHussar

“I must say Will does suck” Anonymous

“As captain of the Cheap Shot Artists, I have first hand knowledge of what it takes to be a captain. Will Hussar does not have enough heart to be captain of The Casual Body Builders, never mind CHS Hockey.” -Gordon Bongbay

Nobody seems to be too confident in @WillHussar to lead this hockey team (even he showed signs of being afraid). Some are predicting that Will must resign after the Teachers Vs Students game that is approaching. We’ll have to wait and see how this turns out but one would have to believe that the leash is very short.

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This guy as captain?

Preview: Washington Capitals At Tampa Bay Lightning


Sorry guys, @WillHussar stole all our notes for tonight’s game. Please block him on twitter. Go Caps.

Preview: Washington Capitals VS Florida Panthers


No preview tonight. Blame it on @WillHussar and if you follow him please unfollow and block. Thank You. Let’s Go Caps.