Archive for January, 2013

Caps Drop The Ball – Fall 3-2


It was the same story tonight as it was against Ottawa on Tuesday: the Caps had the lead going into the third, allowed two goals and lost 3-2. It’s been a devastating week in Washington. “Yeah, you know, taking 8 fucking penalties makes me tired as hell, you know.” Neuvirth said after the game. “I wish Caps would play good around me because I’m best goaler in league right now, you know.”

Notes:
-Ovechkin scored again tonight. It was beautiful.
-Joel Ward, Caps leading scorer, had a goal as well.
-Mike Ribeiro had two assists, making @RMNB look like a bitch once again. We’re still waiting on the apology.
-Neuvirth had 37 saves. He was phenomenal again. Will he be in between the pipes tomorrow night? That’s a good question – it’s a back to back and he had a lot of work tonight. I hope to see him in the net but we may see Holtby.

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Ovechkin had a beautiful goal this evening.

The Caps take on the Filthadelphia Cryers tomorrow night, and we hope to see Ilya Bryzgalov in net. Things could go very well for us tomorrow. See ya on Friday.

-Poke Czech

Preview: Washington Capitals Vs Toronto Maple Leafs


The Caps travel to Toronto, Canada tonight trying to extend their win streak to four games versus the Maple Leafs.

Notes:

  • The Caps blew a 2-0 lead in Ottawa on Tuesday, but coach Adam Oates isn’t worried. “On the road, if you’re up 2-1 after two, you’re in a great position,” Oates told the Caps’ unofficial Poke Czech blog. “We were playing great hockey. They had one [scoring] chance, really. All game long they only had six [scoring] chances five-on-five, so we did a lot of good things. But at the same time Neuvirth played like shit and I made sure to give him 10 lashes after the game.”
  • Mike Ribeiro continues to tear it up and show @RMNB that they don’t know what they’re talking about on this subject (goal and 2 assists in last 3 games).
  • The Caps special teams still isn’t good enough. They have a 70% kill on and the PK and 16% on the Power Play. Opposing teams see this and aren’t afraid.

Prediction: Caps squeak out a win, 2-0 with an empty net goal.

Caps Shit The Bed in Ottawa – Fall 3-2


Despite holding a 2-0 lead towards the end of the second period, the Caps fell to Ottawa tonight. However, all goals from Ottawa were not that impressive. The first one was a weird deflection, the second was a weird bounce off of a face off and the third goal came from a horrible penalty call on Joel Ward that should not have been called. Michal Neuvirth was solid, as usual. The Caps played great for two periods, however, if you slack off in the third, it doesn’t even matter.

-Poke Czech

Washington Capitals At Ottawa Senators: Short Preview Version


The Caps are in Canada tonight trying to win a game.

Prediction: Caps take a tough road win 2-1 in OT.

Sub-Tweeting: Twitter’s version of being a coward.


We’ve all seen it before. Someone who spends their time on twitter talking trash, talking about someone who is anonymous, or just straight talking about people behind their back. This method is called sub-tweeting and has already become the thing on twitter for some time now. Common ways of doing this is by mentioning “oomf” (which means “one of my friends/followers”).

But don’t get it confused, doing this is the new way of being a coward and/or bitch. Seriously, why spend your time talking behind someone’s back on twitter by calling them “oomf”? By doing this, you are just wasting your time and the time of every single follower you have. Nobody wants to hear stories about anonymous people on twitter, we want to hear stories and trash talk about ACTUAL PEOPLE. Do yourselves a favor, next time you talk trash about someone, twitter tag the person (if they have twitter). This way you save yourself and everyone else time by getting straight to the point instead of beating around the bush.

Believe me, the person you’re talking trash about would rather know right away and get into a heated argument right then and there. They don’t want to sit there wondering forever about if “oomf” is them or not. Just show some courage and talk trash directly about the person. The only thing worse you can do on twitter is not follow back or block (but we’ll talk about that on another time). Sub-tweeting is more cowardly than having a hockey fight without taking the cage off.

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Pro Bowl Offers Lots Of Points, Little Entertainment


Commissioner Roger Goodell had said before today’s pro bowl that it could be cancelled in the future if the car robberies did not increase among fans and players. “Look, I know it’s just a glorified all star game, but I want the players and fans to care more. Seriously, I want this game to be remembered for the violence, on and off the field. And by that I mean more car robberies, more stabbings, and just more crime in general. I want more heart.” Because of this bitching from the league’s commissioner, the NFL and it’s media spent all Sunday trying to convince the fans that the players were playing a football game and not just solely drinking alcohol.

”It’s been a very bitching week,” Seattle Seahawks rookie quarterback Russell Wilson said. ”And the thing was, if you watched us, everybody was drunk today and it was really awesome.”

”Guys were doing shots, guys wanted to get wasted and guys want to keep the game here,” Kyle Rudolph (Minnesota Vikings) insisted. ”That was the point before the game. We want to keep this game rolling for future Pro Bowlers.”

”We understood exactly what (Goodell) wanted, guys were getting drunk all over the field,” Victor Cruz (New York Giants) said. ”There was a little bit more high intensity than in years past and we were excited to play. Believe it or not it really did feel like a real game out there. It wasn’t touch football; guys were laying some licks. It had the energy of a real game. My body feels like it just went through a real game.”

One thing I know from experience is that if you have to convince yourself of something over and over again without solid evidence, odds are it isn’t true. The NFL and it’s players are trying to convince fans that today’s game mattered. But in fact it was nothing more than a few of the league’s top pricks showing off in Hawaii after spending the whole week partying their asses off. Today’s pro bowl was no better than any others that we’ve had in the past. In fact, it was much worse. NFC 62, AFC 35. That’s not a close game at all. I’m pretty sure @WillHussar can’t even count that high or figure out the AFC’s deficit, or find the total score of the two. And I’m not going to either because this game was boring and not close enough of a score to care about.

Look, all I’m saying is the NHL owned today in sports (as it usually does when it’s being played).There were really good games in Washington, Ottawa, Montreal, Chicago, Winnipeg, and St. Louis. And these games were real, hard fought, and actually mattered to the sport. Hell, the WWE championship at the Royal Rumble was more entertaining than the Pro Bowl BS.

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Guys, do yourselves a favor. Don’t watch the pro bowl anymore unless a good friend or relative of yours is playing in it. And don’t buy into the NFL’s propaganda from today. It was no better than any other Pro Bowl.

-Poke Czech (John Hussar)

Jayson Werth is the Geico Caveman?


One has to wonder what he does in the offseason...

One has to wonder what he does in the offseason…

We wouldn’t be surprised.

-Poke Czech

Caps Slaughter Sabres to win 3-2


The Capitals have finally done it! They have won their first game of the season! Behind the goals of Joel Ward, Big Johnny Erskine and Alexander Ovechkin, as well as the brilliance of Michal Neuvirth, the Caps silenced the Buffalo Sabres and half of the state of New York.

Notes:

-Michal Neuvirth – we just can’t say it enough. This guy has been great in all three games so far. Look for him to start against Ottawa on Tuesday. “I’m the fucking man,” Neuvy said, “And I always will be.”

-Joel Ward is now leading the team in goals with his third of the season. Not bad, Joel.

-The sniper, John Erskine, finally buried one. He’s played pretty well this season thus far.

-Like we said a few posts back, Alex Ovechkin on the PP has looked good so far, but he just couldn’t seem to get one in. Finally, that changed this afternoon when he demanded Ryan Miller to move and then deposited a goal into the net.

-CSN displayed my tweet on the screen during #CapitalsTalk in the third period. The Caps are 1-0 when CSN does this. Not a coincidence.

-An interesting coincidence – the Devils started 0-3-1 in the 1995 season that was only 48 games long. That year, they played the Sabres in their fifth game, won and then hoisted the cup later that year. Interesting.

-Also worth noting: Poke Czech reached out to Russian Machine Never Breaks on twitter asking for an apology for their remarks regarding Mike Ribeiro on Friday. RMNB issued no such apology, so please do remember this before reading their blog and thinking of them as credible journalists.

The Black Machine strikes with his third goal of the season!

The Black Machine strikes with his third goal of the season!

The Caps face off against Ottawa on Tuesday in Canada. We expect Neuvirth to start.

“It was a game,” Adam Oates said after the win, “It was a definitely a hockey game.”

-Poke Czech

Mike Ribeiro Leading Team in Points, RMNB Isn’t Convinced He’s Good


This was in Russian Machine's game recap of Caps at Devils.

This was in Russian Machine’s game recap of Caps at Devils.

I have read a lot of stupid and bizarre stuff on Russian Machine Never Breaks, and I mean A LOT. However, this has to be the most stupid and most bizarre thing I’ve read on there! RMNB claims that they are just not sold on Mike Ribeiro, and that he isn’t helping Ovechkin like he’s supposed to. Well, maybe he isn’t helping Ovi, however, if you weren’t a complete fucking idiot, you could look at the stats and see that Ribeiro is leading the Washington Capitals not only in assists, but in points! With 1 goal and 3 assists through four games this season, Mike Ribeiro is the only Capitals player with 4 points this season so far. However, for some reason, RMNB has the audacity to say, “Not sold,” on Mike Ribeiro. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, I suppose, even if it is dumb, but man, is this dumb or what?

I just don’t know. People say Russian Machine Never Breaks is a good blog, but I’m just not sold. It’s a good thing I wasn’t buying though.

New Jersey Recovers From Hurricane Sandy, Bests Caps in OT 3-2.


The Capitals did something tonight that they had not done since April 2012 – earn a point in the regular season. About time! After going down 2-0 to the New Jersey Satanists, the Caps mounted one of their famous 3rd period comebacks and wound up falling in OT. Not a bad result considering how things have played out so far this season.

Notes:

-Michal Neuvirth was solid once again. He allowed 3 goals, however, they were all goals that he had no control over. He also made 5+ amazing saves that kept the Caps in the game, so it’s a no-brainer to say that he played well and that he should be in net on Sunday against the Sabres. “I love to make Devil cry,” Neuvy said post-game, “We didn’t do it tonight, but we get to beat those sluts later this year in Verizon Center.”

-Mike Green is back? Well, he’s been back, but we’ve missed him over the last few seasons. He made an amazing pass to Joel Ward on a 5-on-3 PP, and Ward passed it to Ribeiro who scored a beautiful goal. Then, to show us that he really cares, he shot a wrist shot past the elderly Martin Brodeur and tied up the game. Not bad, Mike.

-Ovechkin cost the Caps the game tonight in OT, when he turned it over carelessly by slipping over what we can only assume was Mike Knuble laying down on the ice flicking off George McPhee. Satan then took it down the ice and eventually a pass was made to Kovalchuk, who deposited it in the net and immediately pulled off his helmet to expose his horns. Weird…

Despite being hungover and not taking his medication this morning, Martin Brodeur played solidly.

Despite being hungover and not taking his medication this morning, Martin Brodeur played solidly.

It wasn’t a bad effort from the Caps tonight. It had looked like it might be another blowout to the Caps at one point, however, they manned up, drank a Miller Lite and tied the game to get a point. The Caps face off against notorious choker and condescending jerk, Ryan Miller, on Sunday at 3:00. Hopefully, they will walk away with their first win to help get the season on track.

-Poke Czech